God, I think upon You often. Every day I think upon You. In Thanksgiving and appreciation. Oft I have found myself crying out to You. Praying. Please do this, please do that. Forbid this, don’t allow that. Yet when the answer I hoped for comes to pass as the opposite I prayed for, I feel anger, disappointment, confusion. Always thinking about myself and my own needs. Asking You to dry my tears, to take away my pain.
Yet rarely have I considered You and Your pain. Never once have I offered to dry Your tears. I am sure that in Your love, you have wept for me, for them who love You, however imperfect their love.
We are as selfish children. Wanting to be fed, quenched of our thirst, loved when we feel lost and pained. When we grieve, we beg upon You to take away our pain. But who feeds You? Who quenches your thirst? Who takes from You the grieving pain of having to watch us suffer? Knowing we don’t understand. You cannot always free us from our pain. For it would be like taking the butterfly out of its cocoon rather than allowing it to free itself. With Your help it will not fly. But if allowed to free itself, eventually it will be free to fly and experience a life without restraint.
Please Lord, forgive me my bitterness when I do not understand. Help me to gain wisdom and to see things from Your point of view. Help me to understand that my grief has a purpose I may not understand now, but soon.
Help me to know that when I grieve, my tears and sorrow can never compare to Yours. And rather than to ask You to dry my tears, help me to focus on the ones that flow down Your cheeks for us.